Feel this



I was living inside a landscape
Where the jagged earth swallowed
All the stories we’d tried to paint
A place where hostile suns mutilated
And ruined our beautiful serene skies
Open skies where our hearts once soared
Before they took a fateful turn and dove
Falling fast into an ocean full of eyes
It was the last place I’d hoped you’d be
But there you were making a home
Between all the lives we’d left behind
Deep breaths couldn’t be caught
And all I could find floating like algae
Were stains I couldn’t wash away
I froze inside the moment soaked
By all the tears we had in common
And before I let out my final breath
Before I committed to our demise
I saw a shadow cover the entire sea
A seagull flying overhead searching
His song swimming right towards me
The sandy shore rose from miles deep

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Yes, what if



A friend asked me if I had ever tried to meditate. I told him I had tried but my mind sounds like a crazy drunken concert crowd. Always loud. Always rowdy. He sent me some links to try and I tried. I fell asleep with a quiet mind. It was strange.

This morning I woke up with one thought in my mind. What if I am the problem? What if I looked at the world with the knowledge that I am the problem and the solution? What if all this time I thought I had no power to change anything and didn’t try just to find out I held all the power to do everything?

Of course, it is a ridiculous line of reasoning.

But what if…

In all cases, when one is alone, they will be with themselves.  It is when one is alone that they must either face themselves…

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More remarkable from Hasty



I am perceived and divided.
You see me as bound by history.
A set of experiences chaining me to the railway.
Boundaries marked.
Respect tried and failure too often won.
Knots tied but carefully unraveled.
I am but your servant. Your true beloved,
And so much more as my duty has been sworn.
Because of you, I try to wriggle from the bondage I’ve known.
So many challenges our meeting surmises,
But victories beset only by expectations held
Due to the plagues spread by the entitled before us.

I am happy to have found you.
To create the remembrances of our future selves.
My journey has waivered a hundred and half times seven
Romancing me to continue on, but I love the battle
As it conjures images I long to dream upon—
That your arms and your chest hold close for evermore
The conversations and soliloquies I cling to. I hark…

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Question Marks

Abbie feels stuck today

Sidereal Catalyst

My life has too many question marks right now.  Will I get to keep my unemployment benefits?  What’s going to happen with my claim of discrimination against my former employer?  What kind of training/education will I receive through vocational rehabilitation?  What type of job will I end up getting after I go through the training via voc rehab and how long will this process take?  Am I still eligible for unemployment benefits while receiving services from voc rehab?  

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Hasty is thinking


I started writing a Facebook post this morning that turned into a long dialog with myself. I decided to leave it there and finish it here. Why? Because it feels important somehow. Maybe not important in a way that will change or shape lives. But it feels like I might want to visit these thoughts again. It feels like I am trying to solve something but I am not sure what yet.

I might be unraveling but I might be becoming. I am not sure of that yet either. One thing I do know… is that if I keep searching I have a greater chance of finding the answers I seek.


My head is a crowded and busy place.

Rarely can I sit back and empty my mind. I don’t see how people who meditate do it. I’ve tried. I tried this morning but all I could think about was…

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