#BeReal – PETER M. OLSEN

Taking off the mask

HASTYWORDS

My #BeReal guest today is Peter M. Olsen.

peterolson

Masks
We all wear masks.

Some are subtle. Some are hidden.

Mine couldn’t be more obvious.
Long hair, 20 pounds overweight, scruffy beard.
The mask I wear is made from self-hatred and depression and scars.

My mask tells me that I am ugly…So very fucking ugly.
My mask helps me to feel numb…I feel so very fucking numb.
My mask says to other people I meet that I’m un-loveable, invisible, and so very alone.

So sad to say I like it.
I’m comfortable behind my mask.
This poor, ugly, lonely mask of woe.
It conveniently hides the true me.

My self-esteem. My self-confidence. My self-worth.

I reach out to it and it’s not there.
Like sand slipping through my fingertips.
It escapes and runs away.
Runs away and hides.
“Come find me” it beckons.

No one’s here right now.
Leave your name…

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