The one that got away and not forgot


Please welcome Duncan Swallow to #BeREALationships.


I’d gone to a party on my ownsome, and R arrived with someone else. About an hour later she was sitting on my lap exploring my tonsils.

I’d got a bit of a reputation for being a poacher, since something similar had happened with another couple of girls. Yet I genuinely have never made a pass at a girl/woman who was with someone else. It may come as a surprise to you, but I’ve never made a pass at a girl/woman ever. Not once. I’ve always been too reticent and they’ve had to make the running.

This time things went well with R. We became an item, went out for about a year, which is quite a long time when you’re sixteen or seventeen. Her parents liked me. If I went to visit, they’d let us use the front room undisturbed until about ten…

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Hasty on the lies depression tells


This is me.


I have anxiety and depression.  Below is the conversation I have inside my brain on bad days. Below isn’t even really a bad day it’s just a okay day. A snippet.  The nasty crap nobody wants to let out.  The reason why alcohol and drugs are so often abused.

Is it self pity?  Absofuckinglutely YES and NO.  People who are depressed hate this self pity brain chemical.  We don’t want to be worthless or feel worthless.  We would love to be focused outward not inward.  But we are chained inside a miserable damning place.  It is the fighting against it, the trying to escape, that nearly ends us.

Trying to tell us we are worthy and we matter is like banging on a locked cage desperately trying to help us escape but the cage is stronger.  We know you’re there trying but…


Stream Of Consciousness:  amannerofwritinginwhichthoughtsorperceptionsoccurinrandomform,

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Go Play! Sign Ups Are Here!

The Nerd invites all to Go Play.

Nerd in the Brain

Go Play! | Nerd in the Brain

Yes! The time for Go Play! is nearly upon us…and that means it’s time to get all signed up for the fun!

Now, I know some of you weren’t around for this last year, so let me explain a bit about the Go Play! program…

I will provide a list of fun and fabulous tasks…all of them playful and full of the silly. Tasks could include anything from “take a selfie with a dinosaur” to “visit an arcade” to “ride a hot air balloon.” Each of those tasks will be worth an assigned number of points. Your job is to choose the tasks you want to do (this is absolutely not a “complete the entire list” type thing…I don’t think it would even be possible), take pictures of the shenanigans, and share them with me on Instagram, Facebook, or Twitter. (You can also email if you’d rather not make your goofiness…

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The Struggle is Probably Imaginary

The Shameless One on a variety of topics.

Renee Robbins. Writes.

Because it’s time for a short, peppy listicle post! And because I am dying of boredom in a waiting room. *drinks Ensure* So here goes. I thought it would be best to stick with what I (don’t) know.

Ten things that I don’t understand and/or like:

  1. “21 Day Yoga Shred.” Is that like “Death by Organic GMO Free Vanilla” or “Triple X Canoodling?” Yes, I know, that yoga is awesome. But ROCK YOUR INNER PEACE! THIS IS NOT YOUR MOTHER’S LOTUS, BITCHES!
  2. Removable cups. I shopped for sportsbras yesterday and found they all had this bizarre “removable cup” feature. There are little pockets from which you can remove the padding that covers your funbags. Because so many times I have gone to the gym thinking “if only my boobs were smaller, hung lower and everyone could see my giant nipples.”
  3. Calculus.
  4. Removable cups. Seriously, am I that far out of…

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How Nothing About My Body Is On Fleek And Why I Don’t Give A Flying Fleek

Brickhouse on not giving a fleek


on-fleek-copy4Is it me or is the phrase, on fleek annoying as hell?  Have you heard it used before?  Perfectly groomed?  Exactly right? On point?  Pftttt!  Like we need another reason to feel self-conscious and critical about our bodies.  As hard as it is to admit that my body is anything but on fleek,  it’s high time I not give a flying fleek! .

Since eyebrows seem to be the most popular recipients of the on fleek definition, let’s start with my 52-year-old eyebrows.  These babies have witnessed a lot of drama over the years and quite honestly, are suffering from PTSD.   The number of times they’ve had to rise, furrow, lower and endure hair pulling when things got real, is absurd.  As a result, they are thinning, graying, tiring and more appropriately described as being,On Meek! 

If facial hair on women were ever to be hip, my mustache…

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Overgrown Insecurities

She accepts the challenge.

The Angrivated Mom

Never did I imagine as a young teen that I would still be dealing with my insecurities well into my thirties still. Bright-eyed about the future with all my youthful naivety, adulthood seemed like a magical place where all my issues would disappear with instant maturity.  

When I thought about what it would be like to be a mother back then, I imagined myself being a responsible and level-headed, calm and collected photocopy of any late eighties and early nineties family sitcom mom. Never did I consider the possibility that emotional growth wouldn’t just happen the same way my body grew and changed overnight with puberty.

Here I am, over fifteen years later, and I am still struggling to get a grip, fed up with the insecurities consuming my mind.

Growing up, I had the stereotypical child of an alcoholic thing going on. My father was a police officer…

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Book Nerd: One Man Guy & Alex As Well

The Nerd shares some book finds for YA readers dealing with LGBTQ life.

Nerd in the Brain

Book Nerd: One Man Guy & Alex As Well | Nerd in the Brain

Our journey through the Union County Public Library’s list of young adult LGBTQ fiction continues!

Book Break

The next book on our list is One Man Guy* by Michael Barakiva.

Book Nerd: One Man Guy | Nerd in the Brain

Summer school, a cute boy, and overbearing Armenian parents―what’s a guy to do?

Alek Khederian was looking forward to a relaxing summer. But when his parents announce that he’ll be attending summer school in order to bring up his grades, Alek is sure this experience will be just as hellish as his freshman year of high school. But he never could’ve predicted that he’d meet someone like Ethan.

Ethan is everything Alek wishes he were: confident, free-spirited, and irreverent. When Ethan gets Alek to cut school and go to a Rufus Wainwright concert in New York City’s Central Park, Alek embarks on his first adventure outside the confines of his suburban New Jersey existence. He can’t believe a guy this cool…

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I Write To Fight Stigma

Stigma must be fought – yes

Unlearning Schizophrenia

All of a sudden, I’m nervous that I’m “talking about myself too much.”  I share my story, I offer my opinions, I write about how I’m optimistic about my future… So am I being selfish here?  I hope not.  I guess I just share myself because I want to make a positive difference in this world.  I want to uplift the people I encounter, and help there to be perhaps one more little ray of sunshine out there.  Earth needs them.

With that being said, I’ll share my musings for the day.


I like the prospect of earning supplemental income as a freelance writer, but it’s also a lot of hustle.  And hustle is tiring!  I’m realizing over the months, that I like writing because it is a way for me to express my inner musings.  A way for me to share my personal self with the world.  And as people read…

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Mental Illness Has Impacted My Transgender Identity

Sam writes with serious clarity on mental illness and trans identity.

Let's Queer Things Up!

Once upon a time, I wrote an article about how I wasn’t completely happy with my hormonal transition. Unsurprisingly, I got a lot of shit for it – because dog forbid I have complicated feelings about my body completely changing.

One commenter, I guess in an attempt to insult me, told me to get a therapist and that I was INSANE (emphasis theirs). What they didn’t realize was that they were correct about one thing – my feelings about my transition were absolutely informed by mental illness.

Frankly, I’m annoyed with neurotypical trans people judging my experience of transition – because comparing our experiences completely ignores the reality that I struggle in a way they never will.

What I didn’t mention in that article is that I was diagnosed with OCD after a spiral of obsession that all but drove me to the edge. And what was I obsessing…

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