We Know Why You Were Late

I don’t know WHO she could be talking to – do I?

That Shameless Hussy


(sifting through stuff in my drafts folder)

My punctuality-impaired friend – we are on to you.

We know that you aren’t a bad person. Children don’t always cooperate. Traffic is sometimes terrible. Flat tires, weather, locusts – yes, sometimes it isn’t your fault.

But sometimes, it just is. Like when the birthday party/baby shower/wedding has already begun and you are still fucking with your winged eyeliner. Or how you can never quite make the movie before the lights go down and we wind up standing there for 10 minutes waiting for our eyes to adjust and still manage to trip and spill popcorn. Or, when you are supposed to be meeting your friend for sushi, but you are trying to get that Instagram filter just right. Do you think we don’t have Instagram? (Also, you undertip, but that is not what I came here to talk about.)

Listen- we get it. You think…

View original post 477 more words

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