What I’ve Learned Is The Best Lesson On Love And Relationships

Veronike shares a learning.

Thoughts Of A Sunrise

This is a very well known quote. We’ve all read it and most of us have hoped love would live up to this with those we dedicate ourselves too. But many of us know that it hasn’t. Many of us have been disappointed and left with broken hearts we will never quite fully be able to heal from. Disappointment leaves our faith in fragments and we are cautious when it comes to loving again. Those who find this true representation of love are rare and I respect each one of you because love isn’t always easy and loving takes courage and dedication and selflessness. Most of what I have learned of what love is comes from knowing what love is not and until now, love has been my most elaborate form of self-harm. But wait… It was never really love then, was it?

I have always been one of the…

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Donald Trump’s battered supporters

Beth Caplin comments on an abusive relationship.

Sarahbeth Caplin

melissa-francis-fox-crying-1502913402-compressedIn a segment that is both infuriating and perplexing, Fox News anchor Melissa Francis defends Donald Trump’s remarks about the white supremacist riot in Charlottesville (the so-called violence on “both sides”) to the point that she ends up in tears.

“I’m so uncomfortable having this conversation,” she laments. “I know what’s in my heart, and I know that I don’t think anyone is different, better or worse based on the color of their skin, but I feel like there is nothing any of us can say right now without being judged.”

Well, Melissa, there’s a reason you’re being harshly judged. As Republican political strategist Gianno Caldwell put it, “Good people don’t pal around with Nazis.” Good people don’t go out of their way to defend them, either.

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It’s Not Enough

Devon shares a comment on her recent post that says so much that is important, and beautifully said too.

Devon J Hall

I never, ever do this. This comment is so important, so beautifully kind and filled with love, however, that I decided it needed to be on the front page where you can all see it.

Without edit, I give you “It’s Not Enough” by Dawn Quyle Landau

Screenshot_8It’s taken me days to process a response. I hope my words land the way I’m sending them… with empathy and love.
As a Jewish mother who has seen bigotry and Anti-Semitism tossed around my children’s heads, and into our home, all of my married life, the events in Charlottesville sent a chill down my spine. I was not raised Jewish, but have lived as one for 35 years. I grew up in what I now understand to be white privilege… though as a child, I felt far from privileged, in a home filled with trauma, I get it now. I get it…

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5 Reasons Why We Need to Stop Saying That ‘Women Are Half the World’s Population’

Sam points out some omissions in a common statement.

Let's Queer Things Up!

Feminists, I have a pet peeve that I really want to talk about. Namely, this business about women being half the population.

Have you heard this before? An activist is explaining why focusing on women’s rights is so necessary, and as they passionately make their case, they tack onto the end of their speech, “After all, women make up half the world’s population!”

And of course, there’s agreement all around – we can’t perpetuate an injustice against half of the world. That simply won’t do!

I’m not a woman, but I understand the impulse to advocate for women by pointing out just how many women there are. No doubt, it’s compelling to talk about the sheer number of people being denied their autonomy and human rights.

The more people suffering, the greater the injustice, right?

Here’s the thing: I don’t see this “women are half the world”…

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Open letter to Chris Cantwell and @VICE News. (This might be the dumbest thing I’ve ever done!)

Devon issues an invitation.

Devon J Hall

Hello Chris,

You don’t know me, but my name is Devon J Hall. I’d like to tell you a little bit about myself. Now those who read my blog know I swear alot I’ve tried not to do that here. I could call you names, but I won’t do that either. I’d like to communicate with you, human to human.

I am thirty-four years old, I used to be heavily involved in the party scene. I am also a survivor of early childhood and early adult sexual abuse. Every man I’ve been sexually intimate with has been white.

I don’t know about you, but personally, I find white men incredibly sexy – some girls like Jewish guys, some girls like black dudes (OH MY GOD I KNOW RIGHT? How weird) but for me? I like a good well built sexy white dude. Like Chris Evans – you probably know him, he…

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Walk in their shoes

Sue Vincent reflects on recent events.

Sue Vincent's Daily Echo

“.. before I can live with other folks I’ve got to live with myself. The one thing that doesn’t abide by majority rule is a person’s conscience.” Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird

“Is everything okay over there?” said my son, calling from half a world away. “Yes… fine…” I replied, moments before madness hit London Bridge. Britain, like so many countries recently, reeled once again as violence destroyed lives and peace. That attack followed hard on the heels of Manchester and Westminster, and would precede a lethal attack on Finsbury Mosque.

“My daughter and granddaughter were there,” said our Companion, speaking of the Manchester bombings that killed children as young as eight years old, as we struggled to come to terms with yet another explosion of hatred and inhumanity.

Britain is far from being unique in this. Globally, over eight hundred terrorist attacks have been listed this year alone…

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The Good Girls Are Always Found

Nicole – where are the good girls found?

The Lithium Chronicles

I have broken my own bones,
splintered them
and placed them into bags,
dozens of bags of me,
and I have thrown them
from the windows of speeding cars
in hope that you will find me
after the crash, somewhere
where the good girls would never go,
littered between back alleys
in the dark parts, the places where
the good girls are always found.

© Nicole Lyons 2017

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Charlottesville: We Cannot Wash Our Hands of This

On OTV, Kara Post-Kennedy reflects on Charlottsville and respons-ability.

Open Thought Vortex

The year after my son was born, my husband had a wonderful job opportunity in Charlottesville, Virginia so we moved our life and newborn to this lovely location for a few years.  We bought a little house that I adored in a suburb outside of “city limits” and settled into the gracious living the place is famous for; a bustling university town full of culture, diversity and history.  It was a happy place for us, now full of good memories.

We were moving from Durham, North Carolina, another diverse university community and before that New York City and Los Angeles.  I mention this because on top of the privilege our college-educated, white, Christian heterosexuality affords us, we also existed in quite a convincing progressive bubble.  From our vantage point we were seeing integrated, thriving communities and we proudly voted for President Obama in Virginia in 2008, the year the state…

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Your Bias Against People With Borderline is Still Ableist

Sam writes on ableism, false dichotomies, and borderline.

Let's Queer Things Up!


That’s how many different ways borderline personality disorder can present itself, just looking at the diagnostic criteria alone. Factor in co-existing disorders, trauma history, and all of the biological, sociological, and psychological influences that make us individuals? You’ll find that “borderline personality disorder” loosely describes a very diverse group of people.

It’s also been used to describe me. More specifically, as a survivor, it’s been used to describe the sort of “emotional PTSD” I developed overtime as a response to very traumatic life circumstances.

But no one ever wants to talk about borderline as a product of abuse. I continue to encounter people who only view borderline as a propensity for abuse — as irredeemably horrible people to be avoided at all costs.

And painting people with borderline with one uncomplicated, overgeneralized brushstroke? Treating us like a plague, as inherently immoral, as dangerous? That’s still ableist.

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