Searching for Feathers

Stephanie Bennett-Henry – a paradox: “heavy with wanting to be as light as a feather”

Stephanie Bennett-Henry

I want to be a clean slate, wiped blank from all that affects me, uncracked from all that reaches into my bones deep enough to hurt forever. The pain that touches me, shouldn’t even graze my skin, but it plants itself inside, grows old wounds until they spread new.

I hate the way it never stops splitting me open, the way I root myself so permanent into moments that should be nothing more than a corpse rotting in the rear view mirror. I can’t walk away from those graves, on my knees, holding flowers in memory of a time that forgot me long ago. And I don’t visit those graves, they visit me, like a haunting that never stops turning my heart cold.

They try to make a home of me when I don’t know the way. Lost the directions so long ago and if I ever had a home…

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