TheFeatheredSleep – A litany not sleeping now
When I stopped dancing full-time and entered delayed puberty
my breasts swelled like a lily in a pond
at first it was kinda cool getting attention from boys
then I hated how they jutted out and called ahead
like car headlights
slowly tracking, flashing, blinding
in those days of Flashdance and Fame
the three L’s; leggings, leg warmers, leotards
loving in the afternoon, running to studio
dancing with the smell of sex on my stomach
other girls ate salad and cardboard
threw up in the bathrooms
bound their breasts with cloth
I admired their long necks and sinewy thighs
the tightness of their waists and flat chests
my own puberty felt like something out of control
foreign and unwanted to me
I wanted the lean girl of childhood back
the one who climbed trees with one hand
hung upside down
eating apples
there was too much
attached to owning breasts…
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