I Choke on Breath and Bone

Christine Ray – Flashback

Brave & Reckless

my world spins
out of control
I am in the center of a
tornado flashback
dig sharp fingernails into tender palms
leave angry thin red ovals
in my flesh
pain is grounding
when I can control it
try to corral my rushing thoughts
bring them back here
to now
away from there
from then
focus on my breathing
deep inhale in
to the count of five
slow exhale out
to the count of ten
run out of air
before successfully pushing
the knot of memory out
it is sharp as a chicken bone
as it gags past my windpipe
wedges in my roof of my mouth
I worry at it with my tongue
as if it is a stubborn baby tooth
hanging by single thread
there is sharp pain
metallic taste of blood
as I finally dislodge it
spit it on the floor
an enormous black moth
feathered wings wet…

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