She Wore Emptiness-Kindra M. Austin

Kindra M. Austin brings a daughter’s meditation to H,L,&M

Heretics, Lovers, and Madmen

She wore emptiness,

and I condemned her mantle, as I had

Jehovah-god

and all the men possessed by

devil’s hands.

And

I convicted

her—

Murder

of the

Self.

She wore emptiness,

and never learned one goddamned lesson. Sometimes

fists make

poorly teachers;

maybe mine’ve made a difference. Maybe

I

should’ve beaten her, too.

Purple was her favorite color:

symptom of her

madness.

She wore emptiness,

and I wish I’d stripped her

bare

of

all—

before the world,

in face of Hell and eyes of

Heaven.

I wish I’d screamed her truths.

Those gagging truths inside my mouth,

behind my teeth and

tiger crouching,

taunting my unwilling

throat.

I wish I’d taken emptiness

and made it into

hope.

I need some fucking hope,

but

I

wear

emptiness

in

her

stead. And

what honor is there in taking up her mantle?

Mama,

I’m sorry.

I couldn’t do no better.

© 2019 Kindra…

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