Here I Stand

Christine Ray – Standing at an edge

Brave & Reckless

This is an autobiographical fragment from my first year at the University of Pennsylvania’s School of Social Policy and Practice back in 1990.  For those who are concerned, I no longer live on the 13th Floor but I appreciate your compassion and caring.  This may be triggering for readers with a history of suicide ideation and/or suicide attempts.

I stand in front of the open window of my one bedroom apartment in my building which is simply named “Graduate Tower B.”  The building is as generic, as bland, as the name implies.  It is not an uncomfortable apartment—maybe even a little big for just one person—but it is white on beige on white and screaming institutional.  Much more functional and efficient than homey.

My apartment is on the 13th floor and the windows span the entire exterior wall of my living room/dining room/study/kitchenette.  They start about waist height and go…

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