I Never Could

Tara Caribou – Trapped

Raw Earth Ink

“You are more than the sum of your pasts…
you are your future as well”

His words whispered in my ear
One warm summer evening
And the tears that shone in his eyes
Told me all I needed to know:
I had already lost him

He saw more in me than I ever could
The reflection in his eyes
I never could get there
What I witnessed disgusted me
I hated myself
I still do
Where he saw a future possible
I saw nothing but my former life
Our hands never could meet in the middle
The now

And I knew what I had done
Sabotaging myself
And him
Yet I never could get myself turned around
Facing his direction
The pull of history had too firm a grasp
I had given it so much power
Breaking its grip
Meant breaking myself

While I know I need to tear myself…

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